In the landscape of San Francisco’s LGBTQ+ history, few organizations have served as a more steadfast pillar than the Shanti Project. Founded on the principle that no one should face life-threatening illness or isolation alone, Shanti has spent decades bridging the gap between those in need and those who offer care. Yet, occasionally, a story emerges that perfectly encapsulates the cyclical, healing nature of this work.
The story of Daralt, an 81-year-old pioneer of the AIDS era, and Libby, a younger Peer Support Volunteer, is not merely a tale of charity. It is a testament to the enduring power of community, the resilience of the human spirit, and the transformative potential of intergenerational connection. Through the Shanti Project’s LGBTQ+ Aging and Abilities Support Network (LAASN), these two individuals have found a creative partnership that transcends age, trauma, and time.
The Legacy of Compassion: Daralt’s Early Years
A Witness to History
To understand Daralt’s current journey, one must look back to the late 1980s, a period defined by the catastrophic AIDS epidemic. During this era, Daralt was not a client of social services; he was a provider. As a successful business owner, he occupied a position of relative stability while his community faced an existential threat.
As the epidemic ravaged the LGBTQ+ population, Daralt transformed his home into a sanctuary. He opened his doors to friends who could no longer afford rent and spent his personal funds to ensure those nearing the end of their lives could return to their families or receive dignified care.
"Everybody passed away," Daralt reflects, his voice quiet but steady. "They’d have to go to the hospitals to die or fly home to die with their family… I helped pay for them to get there."
This period was marked by an unrelenting cycle of grief. Daralt, like many of his generation, carried the emotional weight of a community decimated by loss. The trauma was profound, leading him eventually into a period of deep, protective isolation. It was only in the late 1990s, when the grief became too heavy to bear alone, that the roles shifted. Shanti Project, the organization he had once supported, reached out to him, visiting his home and re-integrating him into a support system that prioritized his well-being.
Chronology: A Circle of Care
The arc of Daralt’s life with Shanti serves as a profound case study in the necessity of social safety nets.
- 1988: Daralt begins active fundraising for the Shanti Project, while personally housing friends living with HIV/AIDS.
- Late 1990s: Following years of compounding loss and bereavement, Daralt enters a period of reclusion. Shanti Project intervenes, providing home visits and reconnecting him with community resources.
- Post-2020: After undergoing a life-altering quadruple bypass surgery, Daralt discovers an unexpected passion for digital music production and remixing.
- The Present: Through the LAASN program, Daralt is matched with Libby. The two forge a bond that replaces traditional "caregiving" with creative collaboration.
This "full-circle" trajectory—moving from the caregiver to the cared-for, and eventually to a peer and mentor—highlights the vital importance of organizations like Shanti in maintaining the mental health of elderly LGBTQ+ individuals who may have outlived their original support networks.
Supporting Data and Social Context
The isolation of LGBTQ+ elders is a documented public health concern. According to data from SAGE (Services & Advocacy for LGBTQ+ Elders), queer seniors are significantly more likely to live alone and lack the traditional family structures that provide social support in old age.
The LAASN program was designed specifically to address this "loneliness epidemic." By matching volunteers like Libby with elders like Daralt, the program provides more than just practical assistance; it provides identity-affirming companionship. For an 81-year-old like Daralt, having a volunteer who is "family"—as he described Libby—is a protective factor against the cognitive and physical decline associated with social isolation.
Furthermore, Daralt’s transition into music remixing is not just a hobby; it is a form of neuro-rehabilitation. Creative expression in later life has been shown to improve mood, cognitive function, and quality of life. The fact that his music reached the surreal heights of being played in an operating room during a stranger’s brain surgery underscores the reach of his creative influence.
The Unexpected Harmony: The Meeting of Two Generations
When Libby, a musician and LGBTQ+ advocate, sought to volunteer with the Shanti Project, she was looking for a way to deepen her connection to the local queer community. She found something much more profound.
"Intergenerational relationships seemed exciting to me," Libby recalls. For her, the absence of queer elders in her personal life left a void that she didn’t realize existed until she met Daralt. The connection was instantaneous.
The turning point in their relationship came during their very first phone call. When Daralt asked about her orientation and heard that she had a girlfriend, he didn’t miss a beat: "So you’re family." That phrase, a cornerstone of queer vernacular, served as an immediate bridge. It signaled that despite the decades between them, their experiences of the world were rooted in a shared, albeit distinct, struggle for authenticity.
Their weekly meetings have evolved into something organic. While Libby once played in a band, she now finds herself in the role of a student, learning the complexities of music production from Daralt. Their sessions are characterized by laughter, creative exploration, and a mutual shedding of the "volunteer-client" dynamic.
Implications: The Power of Community
The story of Daralt and Libby carries significant implications for the future of social service models.
1. The Necessity of Intergenerational Spaces
Society often segregates the young and the old. Programs like LAASN challenge this by creating "intentional kinship." By pairing queer youth or young adults with elders, the community preserves oral history and provides the elderly with a sense of continued purpose.
2. Beyond "Service"
The success of this partnership lies in the move away from clinical or transactional interactions. By focusing on shared interests—in this case, music—the pair was able to transcend the power dynamic of a volunteer "helping" a recipient. Instead, they became collaborators.
3. The Enduring Mission of Shanti
For organizations like Shanti, the implications are clear: the model of one-on-one, long-term support is essential. In a world that often prioritizes digital connection, the physical, reliable presence of a volunteer provides a level of security that cannot be replicated by technology.
A Legacy Written in Sound
As Daralt reflects on his life, the music is a constant companion. It is a striking juxtaposition: the man who spent the 80s surrounded by the silence of grief now spends his 80s filling the world with remixed sound.
"It surprises me that an 81-year-old man enjoys this the way I do," he laughs.
Libby, too, has been transformed. She entered the program looking to serve, but she left with a mentor and a newfound understanding of what it means to be part of a lineage. For both, Pride is no longer just a month or a parade; it is the weekly rhythm of their jam sessions and the quiet assurance that they are not alone.
The Shanti Project’s ability to facilitate such a deep, human connection serves as a reminder that the most significant societal contributions are often the quiet ones. By creating a space where a survivor of the AIDS crisis and a young musician can find common ground, Shanti ensures that the stories of the past are not only remembered but are given a soundtrack for the future.
In the operating room where a doctor performed surgery to the beat of an 81-year-old’s remix, the legacy of the AIDS era found a new, life-affirming expression. It is a reminder that even after the darkest chapters, music—and human connection—can continue to play on.
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