By Editorial Staff
May 26, 2026
In the ancient book of Deuteronomy, the mandate is clear: "Choose life." For centuries, this command has served as a cornerstone of ethical and spiritual guidance. However, in the modern era, the interpretation of "choosing life" has become increasingly medicalized. We equate choosing life with aggressive treatment protocols, rigorous self-care regimens, the pursuit of remission, and the relentless search for a cure. While these actions are undeniably vital, a growing movement of thinkers, including Rabbi Melanie Levav, Executive Director of the Shomer Collective, argues that we have narrowed the definition of "choosing life" to the point of exclusion.
By failing to integrate the reality of our own mortality into our daily existence, we are not living more fully; rather, we are living with a fragile, artificial blind spot.
The Silence Surrounding "The D-Words"
The statistics are as staggering as they are telling. According to recent public health data, 92% of Americans agree that it is critically important to discuss end-of-life care and personal wishes regarding mortality. Yet, despite this overwhelming consensus, only one-third of the population has actually initiated these conversations.
This profound disconnect between belief and action highlights a cultural aversion to what Rabbi Levav calls "the D-words"—death and dying. We have been socialized to focus exclusively on the positive, to cultivate optimism, and to prioritize the immediate present. While these are noble pursuits, they are often used as a defensive mechanism to avoid the uncomfortable reality that we are all, by definition, born mortal. This avoidance, intended to protect our peace of mind, ultimately places an undue, often chaotic burden on our loved ones when a medical crisis finally strikes.
A Personal Perspective: The Gift of Preparation
For patients navigating a life-altering illness, the weight of the unknown can be suffocating. Meredith L., a beneficiary of support services provided by Sharsheret and the Shomer Collective, recalls the paralyzing fear that accompanied her initial cancer diagnosis.
"My cancer diagnosis was really scary," Meredith reflects. "I was thankful that a lot of basic things like wills and medical decisions were already something that Ben and I spoke about, so I didn’t have to include that in my additional planning."
Meredith’s experience underscores the "gift" of pre-emptive planning. By addressing the logistics of end-of-life care long before a crisis occurs, she was able to focus her limited emotional and physical energy on her treatment and her family, rather than on administrative, legal, or ethical dilemmas. She highlights the specific value of organizations like Sharsheret, which provide a nuanced intersection of medical guidance and spiritual, heritage-based support. "It feels so reassuring to know that there’s a place that not only understands the medical side of it but the Jewish heritage side as well," she notes.
The Wisdom of the Ages: A Chronology of Confronting Mortality
The discomfort surrounding death is not a modern phenomenon, but our cultural reaction to it has shifted significantly over the last century.
Historical and Religious Context
Jewish wisdom has long maintained that confronting mortality is not a morbid exercise, but a path to heightened intentionality. A foundational text in the Talmud features Rabbi Eliezer teaching his students that one should repent "one day before you die." When his students, confused, asked how one could possibly know the day of their death, the answer provided was a profound revelation: one should live every single day as if it were the last. This teaching suggests that living in a state of "preparedness" is the ultimate expression of vitality.
The Rise of the Medicalized Death
In the mid-20th century, the site of death shifted from the home to the hospital. As medical technology advanced, death became viewed as a clinical failure rather than a natural conclusion of life. This shift effectively removed death from the public square and the private conversation, turning it into a sterile event managed by professionals.
The Modern "Death-Positive" Movement
In recent years, organizations like the Shomer Collective have sought to reclaim the conversation. By normalizing the discussion of mortality, they aim to transition society from a state of avoidance to a state of agency. The movement argues that by acknowledging the inevitability of death, we actually unlock the ability to live more authentic, values-driven lives.
Supporting Data: The Impact of Advance Planning
The benefits of engaging in end-of-life conversations are measurable, both in emotional satisfaction and clinical outcomes. Research consistently demonstrates that individuals who have clearly communicated their end-of-life wishes experience lower levels of anxiety and report higher satisfaction with their medical care.
- Decision-Making Autonomy: When an individual clearly outlines their values and priorities, family members report significantly less "decisional conflict" and guilt when asked to act as medical proxies.
- Reduced Medical Futility: Advanced planning is strongly correlated with a reduction in unnecessary, high-intensity interventions that do not align with the patient’s quality-of-life goals.
- Psychological Well-being: Studies indicate that the act of "putting one’s affairs in order" provides a sense of psychological closure and reduces existential dread, allowing the patient to focus on their remaining time with greater presence.
The Call to Action: Integrating Mortality into Life
If the goal is to "choose life," how do we integrate the reality of death without succumbing to despair? The answer lies in the courage to engage in honest, values-based dialogue.
Strategies for Initiating the Conversation
- Start Early: Do not wait for a diagnosis. The best time to talk about end-of-life wishes is when you are healthy and capable of calm, rational thought.
- Define Your Values: Before discussing logistics (such as DNR orders or power of attorney), discuss what "a good life" looks like to you. What are your non-negotiables? What gives you the most joy?
- Identify Your Proxies: Ensure the person you choose to represent your wishes understands your philosophy, not just your medical chart.
- Normalize the Language: Use clear, direct language. Avoid euphemisms that cloud the gravity of the decisions being made.
Implications: A Shift in Perspective
The work done by organizations like the Shomer Collective is not merely about paperwork or legal documents; it is about cultural reform. If we can successfully normalize the discussion of mortality, we change the way we interact with our own time.
When we admit that tomorrow is not guaranteed—for anyone, regardless of health status—the trivial stressors of daily life lose their power. We are left with the core of our existence: our relationships, our values, and our contributions to the world.
For those facing a cancer diagnosis, the fear is real, and the anxiety is valid. However, the Shomer Collective posits that even in the face of grave illness, there is an opportunity for profound growth. By tackling the "business of death" while we are still alive, we unburden our loved ones and reclaim our own narrative.
Ultimately, the most profound question we can ask ourselves is not "When will I die?" but "What matters most to me, and what am I going to do about it today?"
By answering that question with clarity and action, we truly choose life in its fullest, most meaningful sense. Whether you are currently navigating a health crisis or simply reflecting on the passage of time, the invitation remains open: step out of the shadows of avoidance and into the light of intentional living. The gift of peace, for yourself and those you love, is waiting on the other side of that conversation.
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