A significant percentage of cancer patients are parents, underscoring the critical need for comprehensive support systems that address the unique challenges faced by children and families during this difficult time.
Introduction:
The journey of a cancer diagnosis is arduous for any individual, but when that individual is also a parent, the emotional and practical implications extend far beyond themselves. A groundbreaking study by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) reveals a stark reality: up to 25% of cancer patients are parents to children under 18. This statistic highlights an urgent need for accessible and specialized resources to guide families through the complex emotional landscape that accompanies a parent’s cancer diagnosis. Recognizing this profound challenge, organizations like the National Breast Cancer Foundation (NBCF) are stepping forward to provide crucial support, ensuring that no family has to navigate this path alone.
The Overlooked Impact: Children of Parents with Cancer
For children, a parent’s cancer diagnosis can be a deeply unsettling experience. They may grapple with fear, confusion, anxiety, and a sense of loss, often struggling to understand the medical complexities and the emotional shifts within their family. Their world, once stable, is suddenly disrupted, and their capacity to cope is directly linked to the information and support they receive. The NIH study underscores that providing these young individuals with age-appropriate resources is not just beneficial, but essential for their emotional well-being and resilience.
A Beacon of Hope: Curated Literary Resources
In response to this critical need, a meticulously curated list of books has been compiled, recommended by esteemed mental health and child development experts. These literary works serve as invaluable tools, offering guidance and understanding for both parents and children. The selection is thoughtfully organized by the child’s age and the specific thematic needs they may encounter, ranging from understanding the intricacies of cancer to processing grief and loss. This comprehensive approach ensures that families can find precisely the support they need, when they need it.
Expert Endorsement and Accessibility:
The credibility of these recommended resources is further solidified by the review and endorsement of leading medical experts, including Dr. Wendy Harpham and Kelsey Mora, CCLS, LCPC. Their involvement assures parents that the information presented is accurate, sensitive, and grounded in professional understanding. Furthermore, many of these valuable resources are available at no cost through initiatives like the Bright Reads program, making them accessible to a wider range of families who may be facing financial strain alongside their health challenges. The National Breast Cancer Foundation also offers a wealth of free resources specifically for parents at nbcf.org/parents, further expanding the support network available.
Table of Contents
Books for Adults
- Helping Children Through a Loved One’s Cancer Diagnosis
Books for Teens
- Having a Parent with Cancer
- Grief
Books for Children
- Having a Parent with Cancer
- Understanding Cancer
- Feelings and Cancer
- Moms with Cancer
- Dads with Cancer
- In Spanish
- Activity Books
- Coping
- Separation
- Resilience
- Understanding and Expressing Emotions
- Activity Books
- Death and Grief
- Coping
- Activity Books
Books for Adults: Empowering Parents to Support Their Children
When a parent receives a cancer diagnosis, the immediate concern often shifts to how to best support their children. This section offers a curated selection of books designed to equip parents with the knowledge, language, and strategies needed to navigate these conversations and provide comfort during a challenging time.
Helping Children Through a Loved One’s Cancer Diagnosis
The books in this category provide parents with practical advice and empathetic guidance on how to communicate effectively with their children about cancer. They address the emotional impact of illness, the importance of honesty, and ways to foster resilience in young minds.
- Helping Your Children Cope with Your Cancer by Peter VanDerNoot: This book offers actionable strategies for parents to openly discuss their diagnosis and treatment with their children, helping to alleviate fear and confusion.
- How to Help Children Through a Parent’s Serious Illness: Supportive, Practical Advice from a Leading Child Life Specialist by Kathleen McCue: A comprehensive guide from an expert in child life, providing in-depth insights into the psychological needs of children facing parental illness.
- How to Talk to Your Kids About Cancer by Sara Olsher: This resource focuses on providing parents with the vocabulary and approach to explain cancer in an age-appropriate and reassuring manner.
- Kids Worry Too: A Guide for Adults Helping Children Understand Hospitalization by Nebraska Medicine: Available as an online download in both English and Spanish, this guide offers accessible information for adults to help children understand the hospital environment and the reasons for it.
- Pickles Family Cancer Support Kit by Pickles Group: An online downloadable resource designed to help families navigate the emotional and practical aspects of a cancer diagnosis together.
- Raising An Emotionally Healthy Child When a Parent is Sick by Paula K. Rauch: This book emphasizes the importance of maintaining a child’s emotional health during a parent’s illness, offering strategies for building emotional strength.
- Talking to Children and Teenagers When an Adult has Cancer by MacMillan Cancer Support: An online downloadable guide offering tailored advice for communicating with different age groups within the family.
- What Do I Tell the Kids? by The Cancer Support Community: An online downloadable resource that provides straightforward answers and conversation starters for parents.
- When a Parent Has Cancer: A Guide to Caring for Your Children by Wendy S. Harpham: This book, a companion to the children’s book Becky and the Worry Cup, offers a parent-focused perspective on supporting children through a cancer diagnosis.
Books for Teens: Navigating Adolescence Amidst Parental Illness
Adolescence is a period of significant emotional and social development, and facing a parent’s cancer diagnosis can add an immense layer of complexity to these formative years. This section offers resources specifically tailored to help teenagers process their emotions, understand the changes in their family dynamic, and cope with the unique challenges they may face.
Having a Parent with Cancer
Teenagers often experience a unique set of emotions when a parent is diagnosed with cancer. These books acknowledge the specific anxieties, fears, and feelings of responsibility that can arise during this time.
- Both Sides Now (a novel) by Ruth Pennebaker: This fictional narrative offers a relatable portrayal of a teenager’s experience navigating the complexities of a parent’s illness.
- My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks by Marc Silver: This book directly addresses the often-unspoken frustrations and emotional turmoil teenagers experience, validating their feelings and offering support.
- When Your Parent Has Cancer: A Guide for Teens by National Institutes of Health: An online downloadable resource providing teens with straightforward information and coping strategies, empowering them to understand and manage their reactions.
Grief
The specter of loss, whether anticipated or realized, is a significant aspect of a cancer journey. For teenagers, understanding and processing grief is a crucial component of their healing process.
- Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens: 100 Practical Ideas by Alan Wolfelt: This book provides concrete suggestions and exercises to help teenagers navigate the complex emotions associated with grief.
- Healing Your Grieving Heart Journal for Teens by Alan Wolfelt: A companion journal that allows teens to actively engage with their feelings and experiences through writing and reflection.
- It Won’t Ever Be the Same: A Teen’s Guide to Grief and Grieving by Korie Leigh: This resource acknowledges the profound and lasting impact of loss on a teenager’s life, offering guidance on how to move forward while honoring memories.
- Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss by Hope Edelman (for young adults): While focused on the loss of a mother, this book offers profound insights into the enduring impact of grief for young adults facing the death of a parent.
Books for Children: Understanding and Coping with a Parent’s Cancer
For younger children, a parent’s cancer diagnosis can be particularly confusing and frightening. The language used must be simple, reassuring, and tailored to their developmental stage. This section provides a comprehensive collection of books designed to help children understand cancer, express their feelings, and develop coping mechanisms.
Having a Parent with Cancer
These books aim to demystify cancer for children, explaining the medical aspects in an understandable and non-threatening way, while also acknowledging the emotional impact on the child and family.
Understanding Cancer
- Cancer Party!: Explain Cancer, Chemo, and Radiation to Kids in a Totally Non-Scary Way by Sara Olsher: This book uses creative analogies and a gentle tone to explain complex medical terms to young children.
- Chemotherapy 101 for Kids: An Easy to Understand Guide for Children about Chemotherapy by Chelsey Gomez: Focuses specifically on explaining chemotherapy in a child-friendly manner, addressing potential side effects and what to expect.
- I Have a Question about Cancer: Clear Answers for All Kids, Including Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder or Other Special Needs by Arlen Grad Gaines (Ages 6-9): Provides straightforward answers to common questions about cancer, with considerations for children who may have unique learning needs.
- Our Family Has Cancer, Too by Christine Clifford (Ages 9-12): This book offers a narrative perspective for older children, detailing how a family navigates a cancer diagnosis together.
- Someone You Love Has Cancer: A Child’s Guide to Understanding by Robin Martin Duttmann (Ages 2-10): A gentle introduction to the concept of cancer for very young children, focusing on reassurance and understanding.
- The Very Naughty Cell by Lily Sacks-Hubbard (Ages 2-12): This imaginative story uses personification to explain how cancer cells behave, making the concept more accessible.
- What Happens When Someone I Love Has Cancer? by Sara Olsher (Ages 4-10): A straightforward and comforting guide for young children to understand what cancer is and how it affects their loved ones.
Feelings and Cancer
- Dealing with Feelings Series by Elizabeth Crary (Ages 3-8): This series offers books that help children identify and express a range of emotions, crucial for processing the feelings associated with a parent’s illness.
- Self-Calming Cards: A deck of cards with bilingual instructions that provide children with simple techniques to manage anxiety and stress.
Moms with Cancer
- The Adventure Jar: A Story of Magic for Families Living with Metastatic Breast Cancer (in collaboration with the metastatic breast cancer community) (Ages 2-12; online download): This story focuses on creating positive experiences and memories for families facing metastatic breast cancer.
- Becky and the Worry Cup by Wendy S. Harpham (Ages 6-10): A relatable story about a child dealing with her mother’s cancer and learning to manage her worries.
- The Big Discovery: Assisting Families Through a Breast Cancer Diagnosis by Ashley Dedmon (Ages 5-14): This book helps children understand the process of a breast cancer diagnosis and offers comfort.
- Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings by Ellen McVicker (Ages 4-8; also available in Spanish): A heartwarming story about a child finding ways to connect with her mother during treatment.
- The Hope Tree: Kids Talk About Breast Cancer by Laura Numeroff & Wendy S. Harpham (Ages 4-8): This book shares the experiences and feelings of children whose mothers have breast cancer.
- Making Happy by Sheetal Sheth (Ages 6-10): A story about finding joy and connection even during difficult times.
- Nowhere Hair by Sue Glader (Ages 4-8; also available in Spanish): This book addresses hair loss due to treatment in a sensitive and reassuring way.
- The Paper Chain by Claire Blake, Eliza Blanchard & Kathy Parkinson (Ages 6-9): A story about family connection and support during a mother’s cancer journey.
Dads with Cancer
- My Dad and the Dragon by Montserrat Coughlin Kim: This book uses fantasy to help children understand and cope with their father’s cancer.
In Spanish
- Besos de Mariposa y Deseos con Alas-Cuando (Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings) by Ellen Vicker: The Spanish version of a popular book offering comfort and connection.
- Qué pasa cuando una persona que amo tiene cáncer (What Happens When Someone I Love Can’t Get Better) by Sara Olsher (Ages 4-10): A Spanish translation of a guide to understanding a loved one’s cancer.
Activity Books
- The Dot Method – an interactive workbook to teach kids about cancer by Kelsey Mora: This workbook uses engaging activities to help children learn about cancer and process their feelings.
- Life Isn’t Always A Day At the Beach: A Book for All Children Whose Lives Are Affected by Cancer by Pam Ganz: An activity book that helps children explore their emotions and experiences related to cancer.
- My Life, Their Illness Activity Book from Canadian Virtual Hospice (Ages 6-12; online download): This resource provides children with creative outlets to express themselves and understand their family’s situation.
- Talking with My Treehouse Friends About Cancer: An Activity Book for Children of Parents with Cancer by Peter R. van Dernoot (Ages 6-12): An engaging activity book that encourages children to talk about their feelings and experiences.
- When Someone Has a Very Serious Illness: Children Can Learn to Cope with Loss and Change by Marge Heegaard (Ages 9-12): An activity book that helps older children understand and cope with the changes brought about by serious illness.
Coping
Beyond understanding cancer itself, children need tools to manage the emotional toll of their parent’s illness. This section focuses on books that help children build resilience, cope with separation anxiety, and develop healthy emotional expression.
Separation
- The Invisible String by Patrice Karst (Ages 4-8): A comforting story about the enduring connection between loved ones, even when physically apart.
- The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn (Ages 3-8): This book offers a simple yet powerful message about love and reassurance during times of separation.
- That’s Me Loving You by Amy Krouse Rosenthal (Ages 3-8): A sweet book that reinforces a parent’s love and presence, even when they are not physically near.
- Wherever You Are: My Love Will Find You by Nancy Tillman (Ages 4-8): A heartwarming story assuring children that parental love transcends distance.
- You’ll Find Me by Amanda R. Hill (Ages 5-9): This book helps children understand that their loved ones are always thinking of them.
Resilience
- Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst (Ages 4-9): A classic story that validates the experience of having bad days and shows that even the worst days eventually end.
- Nothing Stays the Same, But That’s Okay by Sara Olsher (Ages 2-11): This book helps children understand that change is a part of life and that they can adapt and cope.
- Ruby Finds a Worry by Tom Percival: A story that teaches children how to acknowledge and manage their worries, transforming them into something positive.
Understanding and Expressing Emotions
- The Boy with Big, Big Feelings by Brittany Winn Lee (Ages 3-6): This book encourages children to embrace and express their emotions, no matter how big they may feel.
- The Feelings Book by Todd Parr (Ages 1-3): A simple and colorful introduction to various emotions for very young children.
- In My Heart: A Book of Feelings by Jo Witek (Ages 2-6): This book helps children identify and understand their feelings through vibrant illustrations.
- The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld (Ages 2+): A powerful story about the importance of listening and validating others’ feelings.
- The Way I Feel by Janan Cain (Ages 3-6): This book provides children with a vocabulary to describe their emotions, from joy to frustration.
Activity Books
- My Book About Cancer by Rebecca C. Schmidt, M.Ed. (Ages 3-8): An activity book designed to help young children process their experiences and feelings related to cancer.
- When Someone You Know Has Cancer: An “Arthur” Activity Book by Dr. Paula Rausch (Ages 3-10; online download): This activity book, featuring the beloved Arthur characters, helps children understand and cope with a loved one’s cancer.
Death and Grief
The possibility of loss is a profound concern for families facing cancer. This section offers resources to help children understand death and grief in an age-appropriate and supportive manner.
Coping
- ABCs of Grief Series by Jessica Correnti: This series offers a structured approach to understanding grief for children.
- The Adventures of Peighten & Gingerbread: Navigating Cancer Diagnosis and Developing Coping Strategies for Grief by Feryn Heth (Ages 3-9): A story that combines the realities of cancer with strategies for coping with grief.
- Always By My Side by Susan Kerner (Ages 4-8): A reassuring book that emphasizes the enduring presence of love even after loss.
- Everywhere, Still: A Book About Loss, Grief, and the Way Love Continues by M.H. Clark (Ages 5+): This book explores the continuous nature of love and connection in the face of loss.
- The Fall of Freddie the Leaf by Leo Buscaglia (Ages 4+): A classic allegory that explains the cycle of life and the natural process of change and loss.
- Goodbye: A First Conversation About Death by Megan Madison (Ages 2-5): This book provides a gentle introduction to the concept of death for very young children.
- The Goodbye Book by Todd Parr (Ages 3-6): A simple and reassuring book that helps children understand the process of saying goodbye.
- I Have a Question About Death: Clear Answers for All Kids, including Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder or Other Special Needs by Arlen Grad Gaines: Addresses children’s questions about death with clarity and sensitivity.
- I Miss You: A First Look at Death by Pat Thomas and Leslie Harker (Ages 4-8): A sensitive introduction to the concept of death and the feelings associated with it.
- Ida, Always by Caron Levis (Ages 4-8): A touching story about friendship and coping with loss.
- Lifetimes: A Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children by Bryan Mellonie (Ages 5+): This book offers a simple and profound explanation of life and death.
- The Memory Box: A Book About Grief by Joanna Rowland (Ages 4-9): This book encourages children to create a memory box as a way to process their grief and remember loved ones.
- More Than Sad: Feelings After Someone Special Dies by Laura Camerona (Ages 4-12): This resource helps children understand the wide range of emotions associated with grief.
- The Next Place by Warren Hanson (Ages 5+): A gentle and hopeful book that explores the idea of what comes after life.
- One Wave at a Time: A Story About Grief and Healing by Holly Thompson (Ages 4-8): This book offers a metaphor for processing grief in manageable steps.
- Something Very Sad Happened: A Toddler’s Guide to Understanding Death by Bonnie Zucker (Ages 2-4): A simple and direct guide for toddlers to begin understanding death.
- Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing after Loss by Pat Schwiebert (Ages 8+): This book uses a metaphorical recipe to explain the process of grieving and healing.
- What Does Grief Feel Like? by Korie Leigh (Ages 3-8): This book helps children identify and understand the physical and emotional sensations of grief.
- What Happens When Someone I Love Can’t Get Better? by Sara Olsher (Ages 4-10; online download): A sensitive guide for children when a loved one’s illness is terminal.
- What Happens When Someone I Love Doesn’t Feel Good? by Sara Olsher (Ages 4-10; online download): This book helps children understand and cope when a loved one is unwell.
- What on Earth Do You Do When Someone Dies? by Trevor Romain (Ages 5-10): A straightforward and reassuring guide for children dealing with death.
- When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death by Laurie Kransy Brown and Marc Brown (Ages 4-7): This book uses relatable characters and illustrations to explain death to young children.
- When Someone Dies: A Children’s Mindful How-To-Guide on Grief and Loss by Andrea Dorn (Ages 4-10): This guide offers mindful strategies for children to navigate grief.
- Where Are You? A Child’s Book About Loss by Laura Olivieri (Ages 4-8): This book helps children grapple with the absence of a loved one.
- Why Do I Feel So Sad? A Grief Book for Children by Tracy Lambert-Prater (Ages 5-7): This book focuses on the emotional experience of grief for children.
Activity Books
- Help Me Say Goodbye: Activities for Helping Kids Cope When a Special Person Dies by Janis Silverman (Ages 5-8): This activity book provides exercises to help children process their grief.
- Muddles, Puddles and Sunshine: Your Activity Book to Help When Someone Has Died (Early Years) by Diana Crossley (Ages 3-6): An activity book designed for early years children to explore their feelings about loss.
- When Someone Very Special Dies: Children Can Learn to Cope with Grief by Marge Heegaard (Ages 9-12): This workbook offers activities and prompts for older children to work through their grief.
Additional Resources: A Network of Support
The National Breast Cancer Foundation (NBCF) is committed to providing comprehensive support for families facing cancer. Beyond this curated list of books, NBCF offers a range of free resources to help guide children through a parent’s cancer diagnosis.
NBCF’s Commitment to Families:
NBCF understands that no one should face cancer alone. Their dedication extends to supporting not only the individual diagnosed but also their entire family unit. For further assistance and a broader spectrum of resources, families are encouraged to visit the NBCF website and explore their offerings.
Collaborative Efforts for Emotional Well-being:
In addition to NBCF, numerous other organizations are dedicated to the emotional well-being of children and families impacted by parental cancer. These organizations offer specialized programs, support groups, and therapeutic services, forming a vital network of care. Partnering with these groups can provide families with additional layers of support and community.
Navigating Your Journey with NBCF:
The National Breast Cancer Foundation stands as a steadfast ally for you and your family as you navigate the complexities of a breast cancer diagnosis. Their website serves as a comprehensive hub for information and support. Families can discover more about NBCF’s breast cancer support groups, access free educational resources, and locate a patient navigator in their area to receive personalized assistance. The organization’s mission is to ensure that every family has the support they need to face cancer with strength and hope.
About the Author
