For many, Pride is a month of vibrant parades, rainbow-colored streets, and public celebration. For others, it is a quiet, internal reflection on the people who shaped their lives and the identities they have fought to claim. For Helen Lawson, Pride has evolved from a shared experience with a long-term partner into a profound exploration of personal truth, resilience, and the life-saving power of community support.
Following the loss of their partner of 31 years, Wallace Greene, in 2024, Lawson found themselves navigating a period of isolation. Yet, through the specialized support of Shanti’s LGBTQ+ Aging and Abilities Support Network (LAASN), Lawson has not only processed the weight of their grief but has emerged with a new understanding of their gender identity as non-binary.
The Foundation: A Love Story Built on 31 Years
The story of Helen Lawson and Wallace Greene began in 1992, in the aisles of a local grocery store. It was a modest start to a lifelong partnership, defined by a simple, mutual nod before Lawson took the initiative to bridge the gap. Over the next three decades, the pair built a life defined by companionship, shared joy, and an active participation in the LGBTQ+ community, including regular appearances at Pride parades.
For Lawson, Wallace was more than a partner; they were the embodiment of their pride. The two moved through the world as a unit, navigating the complexities of life together. When Wallace passed away in 2024, the impact on Lawson was cataclysmic.
"Because of the prolonged grief, I became somewhat of a recluse," Lawson reflected. "I felt very disconnected from Pride. When you lose the person who was your anchor, the community events that once felt celebratory can suddenly feel like a stark reminder of what is missing."
Chronology of Transformation: From Isolation to Liberation
The timeline of Lawson’s recent years is one of profound internal and external shift. Following Wallace’s passing, Lawson entered a period of withdrawal, retreating from the social circles they had once frequented. However, it was within the silence of this mourning period that Lawson began to confront long-held truths about their own identity.
- 1992: Lawson and Greene meet; a 31-year partnership begins.
- 2024: Wallace Greene passes away, plunging Lawson into a period of deep, isolating grief.
- 2024–2025: Lawson works through the bereavement process, during which they come out as non-binary.
- Present Day: Supported by Shanti’s LAASN program and their volunteer, Danny, Lawson integrates their new identity and begins to re-engage with the world.
"In my grieving, I came out as non-binary, which was very liberating," Lawson explained. "It was as if the process of losing Wallace stripped away the societal expectations I had been holding onto. I realized that my identity wasn’t something to be put on hold for the sake of mourning."
Today, Lawson uses he/they pronouns, though they retain the name Helen. This evolution in identity marks a pivotal shift in how they view their place in the world, transitioning from a life defined by a couple’s identity to one defined by individual authenticity.
The Role of Peer Support: The Shanti Connection
The recovery process was not one Lawson navigated alone. Through Shanti’s LGBTQ+ Aging and Abilities Support Network (LAASN), Lawson was paired with Danny, a Peer Support Volunteer. This relationship has become a cornerstone of Lawson’s emotional recovery.
"I don’t know if I could have made it without them," Lawson said of Danny. "The volunteers always meet me where I am. They don’t force you to be ‘better’ or ‘happier.’ They simply exist in the space with you."
The support provided by Danny transcended traditional counseling. When Lawson faced the secondary trauma of losing Bright Eyes—the cat they and Wallace had cared for together for 12 years—Danny was there to provide grounding. In a moment of quiet empathy, Danny accompanied Lawson to the veterinarian’s office, reading aloud from The Goodbye Book to offer comfort during the transition of loss.
Supporting Data: The Vital Necessity of LGBTQ+ Senior Services
The challenges faced by Helen Lawson are representative of a larger, systemic issue within the LGBTQ+ community. According to data from the National Resource Center on LGBTQ+ Aging, older LGBTQ+ individuals are significantly more likely to live alone and lack the support of children or extended family networks compared to their heterosexual counterparts.
The "loneliness epidemic" among LGBTQ+ seniors is exacerbated by a history of trauma, discrimination, and the loss of partners who served as primary caregivers. Programs like Shanti’s LAASN are essential in bridging this gap. By providing "peer-to-peer" companionship, these organizations mitigate the health risks associated with social isolation, such as depression, cognitive decline, and cardiovascular issues.
Shanti’s model of service delivery is rooted in the belief that human presence is a clinical intervention. By matching volunteers who share the community’s lived experiences, the organization provides a level of cultural competence that traditional social services often lack.
Healing Through Reconnection: A Second Chance
One of the most poignant aspects of Lawson’s recovery was the opportunity to revisit a past experience with a new perspective. Years ago, Wallace had taken Lawson to see a specific play. At the time, Lawson was struggling with substance use and felt they had been unable to fully appreciate the performance.
When the play returned to town after Wallace’s death, Danny encouraged Lawson to attend. The experience was transformative.
"That experience was profound," Lawson said. "I was grateful to have a second chance. I felt deeply connected to Wallace. I wish I got to experience it with Wallace—but I’m grateful I got to share it with Danny."
This moment serves as a metaphor for Lawson’s broader trajectory: the ability to honor the past while allowing for new, meaningful connections to form. Lawson notes that their friendship with Danny has even shifted their broader worldview, fostering a new appreciation for the empathy and generosity of straight allies.
Implications for the Future of Pride
As Lawson navigates their current life—filled with weekly meetings, shared laughter, and a newfound sense of self—their definition of Pride has undergone a permanent shift.
"Shanti adds life," Lawson stated. "Shanti provides life in situations that are very dark—but also moments that are light, that are fun, and that are carefree."
For the broader LGBTQ+ community, Lawson’s story offers a vital lesson: Pride is not merely an annual event. It is a continuous practice of acknowledging one’s history, honoring the love that shaped us, and having the courage to evolve when life demands it. By prioritizing the support of vulnerable seniors, society can ensure that the "Pride" we celebrate in June is accessible to those who have fought the longest battles.
Today, Helen Lawson’s Pride is quiet, deeply personal, and resilient. It is a testament to the idea that even in the wake of profound loss, community—and the people who choose to stay beside you—can provide the foundation for a new, authentic chapter of life. As Lawson continues to navigate their journey, they serve as a beacon for others, reminding us that we never have to face grief, or identity, in isolation.
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